Better Check Myself

My top ten reasons to not be so salty about the band wife life.


We are knee deep into gig season right now, where I lose my husband to bars across the state to people gravitating towards the warm glow of the dark hole in the wall dives. Fighting the bitter Great Lakes winter with a warm drink and entertainment. Practices once, twice a week. Gigs Thursdays through Sundays, and sometimes Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays. I am knee deep into soft pants and Netflix season. My mood can sometimes match the winter, bitter, and I feel like its showing in my blogs here. In other words: I gotta check myself; it’s time to count my blessings and focus on all the awesome parts of being a band wife.

So without further delay or dramatic opening story, here is my top ten list of why The Band Wife Life totally rocks:

  1. No standing in lines: I once waited to go to a show and rode with a group of people, got my ticket and stood in line for an hour, in the windy, cold rain… outside. Eff that! I am too spoiled now, I am like Baby carrying in her watermelon, give me a guitar case, an amp, speakers, a drum, something, anything! I am getting there at set up time and coming in the back!
  2. The merch bitch: I honestly love sitting behind the merch table, I get to people watch, I have a guaranteed seat, place to set my beer all night. I feel like I am actually doing something (I am a bit of a busy body when Netflix isn’t on, I swear).

    My view from the merch table. I like to call this piece, “Date Night”.
  3. Meeting new people: I have made a few friends along the way, mostly through The Husband being he is more social and less awkward than his counterpart (me). Band people are cool, it is a very diverse and intriguing genre of people. The freak flags fly high in this group and I love all of them for it. The people watching and conversations are rich and always enjoyable.
  4. Divertimento!: I get to be serenaded for hours on end. I have my own personal live show while I am doing the dishes, folding the laundry, trying to have a conversation. And sometimes, if I am lucky it will be my newest favorite song, that The Husband hates, in hopes to make me sick of it. Jokes on him, I still love that song.
  5. Eye candy: Obviously, The Husband is a smexy beast up there on stage, but besides that. Don’t judge, I got eyes. If you are married to a musician you probably have a certain taste, mine happens to be bearded, tattooed, chubby metal heads… and I am swimming in a sea of looksies!
  6. Booked weekends are optional but always an option: I can never say I am bored and there is nothing to do, if I want I can go to shows, sometimes for free. It gets me out of doing other things if needed: “No, I can’t take you to the thing at the school where I have to talk to other moms, you are going to Grandma’s tonight, Dad has a show.”
  7. Control over the remote: On the nights where I am feeling salty and slothy, I can stay home. Now that my kids are older I never realized how much “me time” I would actually have. I could lay in bed all day and Netflix, starring at my phone for hours, read, write, take four hour showers. I can be pretty dang lazy, and it’s pretty dang amazing.
  8. We are always first: We are the first to get the new CD, first to get a t-shirt, first dibs on tickets, we are always VIP. We know about all the shows before anyone else, hell, we are the ones they have to ask before they can book it.
  9. Your children will have a really cool childhood: music will always be second nature to them. You will be the cool parents because they wear band shirts to school and hand out wristbands as birthday party favors.
  10. It truly is just the most kick ass: Yesterday morning I kissed The Husband goodbye and I told him, “Have fun tonight with Quiet Riot” True story, that is a direct quote. It was freaking awesome!


None of my list is about fame or fortune, because unless you married into the likes of Metallica you won’t be seeing any of that. What you will have is a great personal rock star who makes your life all the more colorful being in it. If it wasn’t for my rockstar I would probably live a life of fun vicariously through more Netflix binges from the safety and comfort of my king size bed. He really gets me out of my safe little box, makes me think, do, and love life; and that is pretty rockin’! But, alas, until the sun comes out again, the weather warms up, and people stay on their own decks and back yard for bonfires and barbecues, I will have to wait for time with The Husband, or forever follow him where he goes.

Author: thebandwifelifeblog

I am a mother of two healthy, happy children, the wife of an amazingly talented and loving husband, a daughter, sister, and friend. Between working full time, keeping up with my kids and husbands activities I thought "Hey, why not start a blog, that's a crazy idea!" And here we are, tired, perpetually confused, and enjoying so much of life.

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