Last week I came clean about how to set your bar at an extreme low and now that you know me a little better and have read all my blogs (right?!?!) you know I am not the mommy blog type, I do not now nor have ever done “play dates”, no I will not pencil you in (unless there is booze involved) and I damn well will not EVER drive a minivan. I am not the good friend that will let you cry on my shoulder, seriously, that is just awkward. I am the friend that you call if you want to get really drunk, forget all your problems, and make real bad decisions that night. I am a certified hot mess, I am a bona fide train wreck, and I am completely OK with that. More than that, I am proud! I fail to remember important dates for the kids’ activities, I don’t pin ideas for their birthday parties, nor do they really get birthday parties, and I do way more “fend for yourself” dinner plans than a mother should with her children, yet they are still here and CPS has not been called on me. I get cranky and impatient with my husband, I don’t cook and clean, like ever, I am by no means a proverbs 31 woman (please, guys, it’s the twenty first century, get with it) and yet my husband still is around and I like to think he enjoys my company or at the least mildly tolerates it. I talk too much, drink too much, eat too much, and curse too much, yet I am still surrounded by amazing people, loving positive family and friends who support and uplift me every day, even though I have not a whole lot to offer them. To be honest I like to think I am a delight to be around and I think we as a society have set this proverbial life bar ridiculously high and need to all chill the squash out.
Alright, back to The Band Wife Life Blog evolution. I was asked the other day what my blog name meant, which I think is self-explanatory, but it occurred to me I have never really explained to anyone, nor to myself, why I started this blog. What started with sharing advice with newer band girlfriends, and concluded in a funny conversation with The Husband about how I could write a book on the last fifteen years of experience, evolved into the crazy idea of making a blog. I have always enjoyed writing and have even flirted with the crazy idea of doing it for a living. I jumped in to blogging with two feet. I just made the decision one day, it was a morning after complaining to one of my sisters about gig season starting and a brain storm occurred. I texted The Husband right after to ask if he honestly thought it was a good idea (Hey, I may be a twenty first century woman but we still work as a team) and then texted my “panel”, which is the group text with my sisters and mother (these ladies are seriously my life line, if you have sisters you probably understand) and I created The Band Wife Life Blog that very day. What started as a fun hashtag I used when posting pictures behind the merch table, or complaints about the husband being away turned into my blog name. I started this blog to attempt at making a habit out of a hobby of mine but as it has evolved I have to start to wonder what’s its purpose. What is my purpose here? I started this blog to entertain people, to have somewhere for people to relate, and because I love to write and have a lot of very important things to say (well, maybe more the former than the latter, but I think I do). One of the reasons I love my mother so much, why we have such a great relationship, and one of my favorite traits of her is whenever I go to her to cry about my life, the mistakes I have made and how much I am failing at life, her mantra is “oh, honey, I have been there” she never lectures me, she never gives me the shoulda-coulda-wouldas, only complete understanding and knowing I am not alone, I am normal and we are all relatable. This is my goal in this blog, my mother is my inspiration, in blogging and in life. Obviously, I am here to tell my story, personally I love my story, I love telling it. Probably because I love to hear myself talk, but I guess if there is anyone I can help, even a few people then I would be happy. I hope my stories and lessons can be relatable, even if you are not with a musician I think most busy spouses and parents can feel me. Instead of focusing on all the greatness I am (which is a whole lot, I swear) I am here to show you the ugly side of being a human, also.
I am a terrible mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. I am sure you have all felt like this. In all our terribleness, all those bad decisions we make that keep us up at night, remember we are all beautiful. You never have to strive to be anyone else. Stop with the expectations, the goals, and read how we all fail daily. Social networking can be toxic, but no matter what a blog, Facebook friend, or Pinterest tells you, you are beautiful. We are all a hot mess of beauty. Live your life chaotically, terribly, happily, apologetically, and as always: Balls to the wall, Baby!