I am looking up at this mountain from the bottom. Sitting on the patio of our vacation rental, I see the now green ski slopes and wonder when they were built, how much man-made work they put into them and how much of it was nature itself. I am looking forward to the rain coming in, an excuse to sit here all day and admire my mitten in all its beauty nature has given it. From somewhere inside the beginning of a vast forest, that edges on the left of our patio, I hear a musical of birds, and a morning dove echoing. I wondered how far away or near it is. In all the mountains spread, you start to lose depth and gain perspective, my favorite thing about woods and being consumed by nature itself.
I traveled to the great north on an invitation, to be with family and friends this holiday but I had leave the husband at home. One thing you should have as a band wife is an acceptance of spontaneity, you have to roll with the punches, and go with the flow. Sometimes The Husband might have used up all his time off on a band trip and sadly, cannot take a long holiday weekend off as planned. So, I muster up enough courage to drive four hours up north at night to be with our family. I am not a driver, and the thought of driving all by myself with our babies in tow was terrifying. But I made promises and we deserved a relaxing weekend away.
He will not miss every vacation and trip, we spent a week in Florida and did the whole Disney trip just this past fall. Which really wasn’t our cup of tea, but for the kids, we made an exception. We packed up and took off for a week in Orlando. It was busy and hot and all I could think the whole time is how they literally did “pave paradise and put up a parking lot” just as Joni Mitchel sang. It’s the cacophony of tourists and noise, new buildings being constructed and old ones tore down. It broke my heart, and left me feeling exhausted. We get so busy; our lives are filled with noises and activity. Everywhere I go is loud, my job comes with its fair share of noise, shows are busy and loud, even at home we are making noise between The Husbands acoustic, the kids activities and my big mouth. It’s nice to be able to just get out from under all of it and unplug for a few days. Here we are, in the big great north, without the husband, not exactly how I wanted the weekend to go but I have been able to get time to think, to relax, enough peace to gather my thoughts and fill my lungs with some fresh mountain air. With my flow of thoughts this weekend comes this random blog post about all of them. Much like this weekend I don’t know where it’s going, no beginning, middle, or end.
We have hiked the mountain, swam many laps, played multiple card games and laughed until we were sore, yet in the back of my head I still wish the husband could be here. This is the band wife life and it is what I chose. I could have stayed home this weekend, I could have made it to his shows but the noise of our everyday life was getting to be too much, much like Florida, leaving me exhausted, confused, and homesick. I chose to disconnect. I made the choice to go to the mountains, to forget about work for a while, to get lost in the woods every day while I am here, to clear my mind and find my peace. As a band wife we need to remember to be patient, selfless, flexible, supportive, ready to go at any moment, but most importantly we need to remember to stop. Stop occasionally and breath or you will suffocate. I have repeated this before, and most of these thoughts of mine are selfishly about yourselves as women (or men, whichever) but this is so important if you are with someone who’s hobby or job or where ever this talent they have may take them because it may take you farther then you want or possibly leave you behind. As in any relationship, focus on yourself when focusing on them becomes too much.